Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
