I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
