I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
