Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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