This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
