he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
