my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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