Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
