I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
