he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
