you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I am available for nakedness
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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