what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
