Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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