i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
