Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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