also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
