So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
