I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
