Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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