Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
