Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
