cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
