ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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