"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
