I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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