I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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