remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
They are going to name an STD after you.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
