We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
