Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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