Can Purell be used as lube?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
