Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
