I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
