she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
