why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
