no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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