Can Purell be used as lube?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
