why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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