Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
