Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
