I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
