the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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