I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
