2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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