Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
