Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Welp...herpes.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
