Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
