I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
