Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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