She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
