I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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