he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
