And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
