Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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