Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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