One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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